Saying "No" Is Not Always Bad

Figuring out how to say “no” is not a bad thing. For years, I did exactly what people expected of me. I did not want any one to be disappointed in me, so I always did what people asked.

I would get asked to hook up car stereos. I love to hook them up, but people would call me that never dialed my number before to ask me to do it. They expected me to do it for nothing, so of course I did.

Same goes for connecting home theater equipment, detailing cars, working on computers, doing karaoke parties, or just giving some body a ride somewhere. It was endless what I should have said “no” to, but I didn’t.

I have said previously that I went through a stage of soul searching. I realized that I did all these things; because I wanted to be liked…I wanted everyone to know I was a good person. I also realized that I was not doing things I should have to better myself.

I had to ask myself some tough questions: If I say “no” what is the worst that can happen. This person can get mad at me. This person can badmouth me. This person will be disappointed in me.

Well, I considered who the person was first. If it were my wife, parents or children, I would do anything to make them happy. My family does not take advantage of me. Every time I am asked to do something for my parents they always offer to pay me. They know I don’t want their money, but sometimes they force it on me.

On the other hand, there are those I do not consider family, and really don’t consider a friend. I guess you could say they are acquaintances. They call you once in six months expecting you to jump because they asked you to do something.

Well, I have finally started saying “no’. Letting people know that my time is just as valuable. It really feels good that I can finally stand up and say you are not going to take advantage of me anymore.

It was a hard lesson, but I finally learned it…It only took 41 years.

I want to add this. My wife was sick not too long ago. She had Staph infection in her leg. We own a convenience store. I had three friends that ran the store for nothing, so I could be at the hospital with her. My friends, I would do anything for, but I don’t consider those three my friends, they are part of my family.

I wanted to add that, because I will always be here to help anyone as long as I feel appreciated. I just think there are too many people taking advantage of others who are kind. The people who are kind do not expect anything in return, but they do expect appreciation.

So I guess everything bowls down to this; help others, but do not get taken advantage of. It is alright to say “no” to those who are unworthy of you.